IT JUST NEW YORKERS, OR IS EVERYONE A LITTLE NUTS?
"Tawk" to a New "Yawka" lately? It's
that accent thing, right?
residents recognize it a mile away--along with the attitude.
In "the city" it's a survival mechanism, in the country--obnoxious.
Welcome to the running saga of weekend culture shock.
Or is it more like mass schizophrenia?
see. New Yorkers begin and end their workweek like herds
of cattle--jammed into smothering subways and buses
so tight "up close and personal" takes on a whole new
meaning. Then they'll jockey for position at a deli
for coffee like NBA centers "boxing out" opponents for
a rebound with elbows fixed like bayonets. And before
actually reaching the office, at least one sociopath
will be stared down, two lunatic bike messengers buzzing
curbside pedestrians cursed, and a gauntlet of kamikaze
cabbies fixated on anything but safe driving dared.
Friday evening, they're so desperate for the calmer
pace of the Poconos, they risk what's left of their
sanity just to get through the dreaded rush hour traffic
on 80--only to complain all weekend long that nobody
moves their "you know what" fast enough. Hello? Is there
any Valium in the house?
course, New Yorkers don't own exclusive bragging rights
to irrational behavior. Locals twitch at the first sign
of New York plates, moan about congested roads and parking
lots, crowded stores, markets, and the like, but then
snatch tourist dollars faster than a pickpocket working
here's a reality check: There's no Ford or BMW plant
in the Poconos, so lighten up; New Yorkers may be like
the spouse you can't live with and can't (or shouldn't)
shoot, but they play an integral role in the region's
food chain. So mind your (table) manners!
Poconos is unquestionably a fine place in which to live,
but since perfection is said to be the exclusive province
of Heaven, perhaps making the best of the here and now
might not be such a bad idea while waiting to find out.