IS IT JUST NEW YORKERS, OR
IS EVERYONE A LITTLE NUTS?
"Tawk" to a New "Yawka" lately? It's that accent thing, right?
recognize it a mile away--along with the attitude. In "the city"
it's a survival mechanism, in the country--obnoxious. Welcome to
the running saga of weekend culture shock. Or is it more like mass
Let's see. New
Yorkers begin and end their workweek like herds of cattle--jammed
into smothering subways and buses so tight "up close and personal"
takes on a whole new meaning. Then they'll jockey for position at
a deli for coffee like NBA centers "boxing out" opponents for a
rebound with elbows fixed like bayonets. And before actually reaching
the office, at least one sociopath will be stared down, two lunatic
bike messengers buzzing curbside pedestrians cursed, and a gauntlet
of kamikaze cabbies fixated on anything but safe driving dared.
Friday evening, they're so desperate for the calmer pace of the
Poconos, they risk what's left of their sanity just to get through
the dreaded rush hour traffic on 80--only to complain all weekend
long that nobody moves their "you know what" fast enough. Hello?
Is there any Valium in the house?
Of course, New
Yorkers don't own exclusive bragging rights to irrational behavior.
Locals twitch at the first sign of New York plates, moan about congested
roads and parking lots, crowded stores, markets, and the like, but
then snatch tourist dollars faster than a pickpocket working Penn
Station. Well, here's a reality check: There's no Ford or BMW plant
in the Poconos, so lighten up; New Yorkers may be like the spouse
you can't live with and can't (or shouldn't) shoot, but they play
an integral role in the region's food chain. So mind your (table)
Poconos is unquestionably a fine place in which to live, but since
perfection is said to be the exclusive province of Heaven, perhaps
making the best of the here and now might not be such a bad idea
while waiting to find out.